The alienation of the American male is indeed worrisome. Close tribes, which produced coming-of-age rituals, absorbed much of the angst of becoming an adult.
Those won't cone back - thankfully.
As parents, we have to ensure that the smaller families in which they grow offer as much support, resilience, and room to grow. That we don't present role models absorbed by work and society to the exclusion of family and growth.
Junger describes the virtues of being in a tribe. I think 'world citizens' miss a beat when they are not part of the local community; voting, participating in social work, volunteering in the PTA, being good neighbors etc. He believes that boys replace those traditional ceremonies with dangerous ones of their own (hazing, drugs, graffiti etc)
"Modern society obviously doesn’t conduct initiations on its young men, but many boys still do their best to demonstrate their readiness for manhood in all kinds of clumsy and dangerous ways."
Not surprisingly, he writes, the more wealthy you get, the more disconnected you are from local community. The rates of depression and suicide are correlated with wealth.
The key word for me in that whole piece is 'respect'. If you treat children with respect - for the fact that they are unique individuals, each with their own fate, their own predilections; if you listen carefully to them, the chances of estrangement are - I believe - considerably lowered.
The alienation of the American male is indeed worrisome. Close tribes, which produced coming-of-age rituals, absorbed much of the angst of becoming an adult.
Those won't cone back - thankfully.
As parents, we have to ensure that the smaller families in which they grow offer as much support, resilience, and room to grow. That we don't present role models absorbed by work and society to the exclusion of family and growth.
Junger describes the virtues of being in a tribe. I think 'world citizens' miss a beat when they are not part of the local community; voting, participating in social work, volunteering in the PTA, being good neighbors etc. He believes that boys replace those traditional ceremonies with dangerous ones of their own (hazing, drugs, graffiti etc)
"Modern society obviously doesn’t conduct initiations on its young men, but many boys still do their best to demonstrate their readiness for manhood in all kinds of clumsy and dangerous ways."
Not surprisingly, he writes, the more wealthy you get, the more disconnected you are from local community. The rates of depression and suicide are correlated with wealth.
I commented on family. Your view?
That I agree with - that's as much as we can do as parents.
The issue with much of America is split (and estranged) families. There's a fantastic article in the Atlantic this week.
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/01/why-parents-and-kids-get-estranged/617612/
I worry about the above for many reasons.
The key word for me in that whole piece is 'respect'. If you treat children with respect - for the fact that they are unique individuals, each with their own fate, their own predilections; if you listen carefully to them, the chances of estrangement are - I believe - considerably lowered.
I hope so! :-)